We need to talk?

I am just getting over the hump. I have been single for a full two months.

Saturday was hard for me. Real hard. I wanted to go out dancing, have a party, celebrate. I had a lot to celebrate my couch had just come – its beautiful, bonded leather. Yeah thats all I had to celebrate but I think its a good reason. I got a new couch! LOVE IT ! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! I’m digressing , but its my blog, and your my reader so let me focus.

OK so I had one reason to celebrate but I decided to assess my feelings. Why did I want to really go out? Turns out I wanted to meet a cute man. I just wanted a man to hit on me. Not good I say. Not good. So I picked up a novella ( aka romance book ) settled into my new cotton satin sheets and devoured the book. That people is progress! When you are dedicated on your goal to being single and not going to do something that you love- dancing- in the name of advancing your self.

But alas…. there is always drama… and confusion. So two exes on mine – days apart like one on saturday, on one sunday said to me – ” We need to talk”.

I know that this is a stereotype but aren’t women the ones supposed to say ” we need to talk”. I hate it when men say that coz its so vague. And if you know anything about men they will give you the “we need to talk” line and not go further into it until they are ready. I hate suspense, I just can not be left hanging. So now I am in a state of what the hell is going on. Not one person but two. What could they want to talk about?

Its insane. Insane I tell you.

I’m waiting for today to be over – conversation 1 should be happening by the end of today. Tomorrow conversation 2.

What’s a girl to do??? How do men cope when women give them the whole ” we need to talk line”??

 

Spanking New!

Yes! I have ignored you.

But I have been busy. This past weekend I moved into my new apartment, unpacked all my clothes, bought a sofa, and attempted to do homework, started a new blog and attempted to do homework. Needless to say I have been very exhausted. I also bought new bedding, and kitchen items. I am very pleased with my choices. Very. So pleased! I can’t express my joy to you, because that would take forever. But just know that I am immensely rpoud of myself. Why? I have good taste. I have never had to buy items for a house/ apartment before. I mean here I was picking dishes, spoons, pans, knife sets, glasses, wine glasses. I was all over that! And I have to say I did a good job! A freaking good job! Like I said I have taste. And I did it within budget! I was worried as I picked the items but once I got them out of the box I was like OMG! OMG !OMG! I have good taste. And I could just see my dowry price rising because of my good taste! I’m telling you it was amazing! And picking a fabulous bonded leather couch of course just tripled it. I’m on a journey.

For the past two years- well let’s be honest since that devastating heart break of mine- I have been slacking with life! SLACKING! I’ve just been cruising through life on neutral gear. NO MORE I’m taking charge. It’s perfect timing I tell you. New place, new attitude- I love it. Someone told me that its coz im in a new place that I feel this way. WRONG! I have been feeling it since last month but wasn’t sure how to go about it- until I got inspiration spending all the money I got on a loan to furnish my house.

Time to make good things happen!

 

Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling love yourself for feeling it.

 

Time to vote

I recently had a conversation with a good friend about BJ’s. It was rather surprising and now I just need to know what you all think…. so….

 

Moving : Lesson # 1

Ok changed my mind! I will air the laundry… So here are the characters in my little story. Andi, Mel** and I

(** name has been changed to protect her Identity)

I currently live in a nice little cute place. It has two full bedrooms – they are small but it’s still a full bedroom, think South B original servants quarter size room- and an attic. Now Andi has lived here for four years. And when I moved in, a year ago, she moved up into the attic. For 2 reasons a) she always wanted to move up there and b) not many people would live up there. Why wouldn’t someone want to live up there?  Well the space is small. And you have to get up to that space using a ladder. Remember that ladder you used to use a kid to get up to your bed on the double-decker you shared with your younger brother or sister? Yes that kind of ladder, slightly larger and longer.

So over the summer, in July to be precise, one of the rooms becomes available. So I had the pleasurable task of finding us a roommate. Andi and I spoke about the process. She said she was busy and I didn’t mind doing the bulk work of it. So I found us a roommate- Mel. Before I found Mel, Andi mentioned that she would be moving out when I moved out in December, or in February. And I was like ok so I told Mel you have to commit for a few month more like 6 -8 and so she did.  Mel moved in August.

Sept 30^th rolls along and pop goes the weasel... Andi causally mentions that she is moving in November. I am stunned. This is the first I am hearing of this. She almost knocked the wind out of me. Thank goodness for my 53 kilos. I could have sworn that any heavier and my ass would have gone through this carpeted floor. So I question her “ when in November? Like early? Or at the end of the month? “

Andi : “well its actually more like early November? “

SN : oh so you mean November 1^st so basically its end of this month?

Andi: well yeah I guess.

SN: yeah I think its end of Oct because tomorrow is the first.

Andi:  yeah well I figure that’s ok notice coz you can get someone to rent the place in a month.

SN can feel herself falling thru the floor.

I’m pissed. Coz the woman just went back on her word. Livid doesn’t begin to cover how I feel.  I’m a touch passive aggressive when I feel betrayed. Not just that, I also have to go back on what I told Mel. Mel is working late when this conversation happened. So when I see her the next day, I tell her the news. I also apologize because I told her would be moving in December or Feb. I feel horrid. Mel has only lived here what 2 months and now she has to find another place. Yeah thanks ANDI!  I put up an ad for the place. In a week I only get two responses. 2 responses! No, this place is really cheap so 2 responses is B.A.D. and-not -the –Michael- Jackson- style- more- like- the- Mike- Tyson- vs- Evander- Hollyfield-ear- biting- saga- B.A.D.And none are viable applicants because I knew them from my school and I just was like no I don’t think I want to live with you. So that leaves the option of staying and paying double the amount we are playing for a tiny place. No thanks on my part No thanks on Mel’s part!

Fortunately we found a place the following weekend!! And stitched that ear up! God is great I tell you!

So now I’m moving.

Lesson # 1 : Don’t trust people that be flipping left and right, saying this and doing the other. They will move out on you!

And did I tell you how the woman, ANDI,  didn’t even pay the gas bill? DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN  that CHIC be trifling!  You are not going to believe this!

 

Listen

I want to write a blog post but there is so much to talk about. My thoughts are all scattered…..

So much that I want to say about relationships and friendships, closure and openness, change and rediscovery.

But sometimes you just have to be STILL.

Sometimes you have to sit and be quiet. And just accept things as they are. Without complaining, and just letting your heart and your mind speak.

So as you think about Sultry Nutter today, as you read this, just sit and listen to yourself.  Listen.