Italian…..

He called me. We went out for a snack and he told me that he felt me slipping away.

Hmmmm ?

He wants me back he says. But he is leaving in 2 months to who knows where?

He is thinking of me he says that he doesn’t want to call me his girlfriend, cz he takes it seriously. But he wants to date me.

I’m sure he just wants shag though.. Hmmmmm?!!

 

Mental shift

I graduate from college next week!

That being said I have to say …. Growth is occurring. I think its maturity.  I recall saying that I was on a jorney of some sort and I can feel it happening. I can see it happening in my life.

So back in the day when I was a young’in  I was untidy. I was messy , between us three kids I was officially the messiest. The careless one: the one that almost always lost her sweater in school. The slob: one who had dishes from last week still sitting on her study desk in her room.  I had clothes on the floor on a daily basis. And trust I never made my bed on a daily basis.

And I didn’t cook. Maybe scrambled eggs – coz trust my mother made sure we could all make ourselves breakfast- PS my mum, brother and I make some killa scramble eggs. Family tradition! WHAT! I was more of a baker in my young’in days. I was hella good at it tooJ.

It got better as I got older. Just a little. I wasn’t so bad of a slob the older I got , but I wasn’t the tidiest. I took pride in being clean and messy. And trust me its possible.

Now …. It’s a whole other story. I almost don’t know who that person is or was.

I come home from my internship, I take off my jacket, clean the kitchen, wipe down everything.  My room is tidied up right after that. Everything is put in its place.Plus I’ve insisted to my roomie that we clean the apartment on a weekly basis- including the kitchen LOL.  In short, I’m clean and tidy.  If my parents, especially my dad saw my place I’m almost sure he would have a panic attack, maybe a heart attack – because the place looks the way it does mostly by my doing. Reason being he gave up on me a long time ago on being the ideal daughter.

I mean I can’t even make tea. (By the way I take pride in not knowing how to cook tea- and by cook I mean measuring tea leaves and milk and water – that … yeah  I just haven’t gotten that down I don’t care to either coz I don’t drink tea ). But now I cook. I make a kick ass roast lamb and potato dish, and I can work the stove. And the more I do it the better I get at it.  J I love it…. $$$$$$ dowry! LMAO!!!

But someone told me that once I turn 25 my brain, my thinking will change.  I can feel it happening …. its kinda of scary.

 

Plastic Surgery

Do you guys watch nip/tuck? Or the 90210 beverly hills plastic surgery show? Or reality T.V coz you know those guys are always going to the plastic surgeon.

In the show they always have this poor gal going to the plastic surgeon to have a her boobies or her vajayjay fixed. The doctor gets a feel of her boobies and a look inside the vajayjay, and he gives his recommendations on what should be done and how it should be done. Then somehow the conversation always turns to the gal pal of the chic getting the work done and then its talking about how her boobies are. Or how her thighs are and the surgeon always ends up telling her she will need work asap or in a year or two or somewhere down the road. I’ve always wondered how are these people suckered into being told they need work done. Better yet weren’t they supposed to be taking their friends not working on themselves? But now I understand – when that doctor starts assessing u like a slice of roast meat, your self esteem takes a dive! And ur once perfect boobies are no longer perfect ? why? Well that mammary papilla, commonly referred to as nipple, is no longer large enough and it needs to be made larger so that her live- in- boyfriend ( what Kenyans refer to as come we stay) can suck on it all night .

So I went to a plastic surgeon yesterday. Yes people! Plastic surgeon. And after I declared that my nose is fabulous and doesn’t need work. He was like yes it looks good but let me touch it- and touch it he did and then he calmly said no! Its going to droop when u are older because it has no strut! Because the tip of my nose is soft as I get older it’s going to start sagging basically! This is where I almost chucked the kikuyu in me be nearly yelling “Ka –nake- nawe!” Instead I snapped “whatever”.  And then the doctor told me that I was beautiful and didn’t need any work done. Do you see this people. They damage your ego and then tell you u don’t need work? Who do you listen to? Them or your ego?

Thankfully the appointment was over and we left, with my damaged ego – about possibly having a future droopy nose. Thank goodness it wasn’t a boobie plastic surgeon coz my mammary papillae are just fine thank you!

Being a woman is hard- your boobs sag, your hips decided to widen to the size of a truck, your buttocks enlarge then sag coz you drag ‘em on a seat all  day , your vajayjay takes a hit to and stretches beyond the depths of human understanding, and now SN is gladly proud to announce that yes ladies so will your nose! (the nose applies to the gentlemen too esp them.)

 

Official!

It is official!

I sit here in an almost drunken state and I can say in a sober way that I have lost ALL FAITH IN MEN! ALL!

Incase you didnt notice that was in CAPS !  ALL FAITH IN MEN!

they are just a) uneccessarily dramatic b) beyond immmature c) just plain stupid d) OMG — why go on?

Hmm clearly I am upset at one man! which man? alas onely one person will know! but I am pissed! people PISSED!

I’m just done with men! Done ….

we need a harambee to buy me a vibrator! ……

fuck im pissed shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots= drunkedness!

 

I hear voices

Have you ever listened to your voice?

Like recorded it and listened to it! Interesting is it not- you should try it. It could make your night, it for sure made mine. Personally I just love the way I sound its honest, fabulous and sultry.

Haha I love the sound of my voice!

Très jolie !

PS: Ladies I recently found out that men can think you are hottest thing that walked into their life but think u have the most annoying voice and just because of that they will opt not to date you!  so make sure it is on point…. I’m just saying!