Official!

It is official!

I sit here in an almost drunken state and I can say in a sober way that I have lost ALL FAITH IN MEN! ALL!

Incase you didnt notice that was in CAPS !  ALL FAITH IN MEN!

they are just a) uneccessarily dramatic b) beyond immmature c) just plain stupid d) OMG — why go on?

Hmm clearly I am upset at one man! which man? alas onely one person will know! but I am pissed! people PISSED!

I’m just done with men! Done ….

we need a harambee to buy me a vibrator! ……

fuck im pissed shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots= drunkedness!

 

FB… Boobie Disasters

PEOPLE  Once again it is FACEBOOK!

Ok so I am randomly procrastinating – it is a gift I tell you – and I happen to notice this one girls pictures. And ofcourse her profile is not super private like mine so anyway I can see her pictures.. and look at her pictures I did even though she isnt my friend… And wat did I see…

Her big boobs , her big boobs, and her big boobs. All her pictures are extremely boobalicious. And her boobs are big probably D’s if not G’s you know and damn she needs a bra that fits or friends. Because seriously you cant have ur boobs hanging out like that for all and sundry. I mean its so bad to the point of  how can you have respect for a woman that has the titties all out like that , I’m telling you the only thing you can’t see is her nipples. Yote… and to make it worse there is a picture with a pen in between her boobs in one of the pics, I mean really! Ok maybe it was meant as a joke but some self respect- I mean really. And I’m pretty sure I read that if u have big boobs you shouldn’t have them hanging out ovyo ovyo all the time. Those girls need to be supported. UP and COVERED!. And sad thing is I’m sure she is a nice person but ala … those boobs are popping. Beyond! Guys I know you are thinking ok I want to see this but even after pic 10 you’ll be like uh ok yeah this is too much. Even if you have been blessed by the Lord like that … ai.. it was just too tooo tooo much! Hanging here , there everywhere almost every pic I saw… ala!

I mean nearly every picture her boobs were out, and she has like 400 pictures. And a good 2 sock of them her titties are out having a party. There was one picture where even her top couldn’t hack and was sliding off and you could see the bra. And not to forget that ka habit of Kenyan women, putting the cell phone by the boobs , close to the arm pit but not quite- held in place by the bra of course. (PS I’m pretty sure this is bad for the bra… the bra is meant to support the boobs not the boobs and the cell phone- im digressing)

I almost want to do a harambee and buy her a bra! A bra that fits well and a shirt that covers that stuff up.

Would it be wrong of me to write her a message and be like hey I think u need to cover up that ish? Give her a few tips on how to show off the boobs in a more appropriate manner! Coz I mean I want to … I even feel obligated to do so???Maybe she doesnt have friends who can tell her ” honey get your self together and cover up those things at least sometimes, especially in the day light.. !I can’t just sit by the way side and let the woman just meander along the road like she is lost…

 

The object of my desire

Yes! You are…. You are the object of my desire.

Calm down now!  I can spread the love don’t wear me thin though.

I have 6 books that I need to read. I love reading. Reading makes me happy, reading gives me joy. I fear that one day books may become obsolete, but I do not want it to be so!   YES!  I am aware that trees are endangered because of books. But books are so cool. I guess im a nerd. So what am I reading? … Ah that my lovelies shall remain but a mystery to you for it is better that way. If you could guess what I am reading though, I wonder what your thoughts would be?!

So between that (6 books), academics, working out – heeh I went to the gym( thanks for following up on that ) , blogging and my internship, people I am stretched thin.

The object of my desire is the 6 books and working out –the rest by the way I just want to leave on the way side. Just you drop it! I love reading… books, magazines.. love it!

Ok so I have a new dilemma- ok so the FB guy sent me an email because he couldn’t find me on it. Holla if you hear me to super private settings where no random person can find you! Anyway so he sent me this random message and I’m thinking hmmm I don’t want to date him but maybe we can be friends – you know network , socialize and all that pizzazz!  But I don’t know what to say- he has it in his mind that I am particularly interested in participating in winter sports – skiing , horseshoeing, hiking and such— and really has he not heard a word I have said ….  I AM FROM KENYA.  I AM FROM NAIROBI. I  AM FROM THE EQUATORIAL REGION. I DO NOT LIKE THE COLD ALL THAT MUCH. Hmmm ‘tis a slight quandary isn’t it?

As you know I had octopus( scroll down to the other posts please I’m being lazy I don’t have timez za ku waste on linking )  and as I was kindly informed by Our Kid, in the comment section, Octopus is an aphrodisiac. So … maybe I kissed Italian. And maybe we had some good times.

Maybe!  Can you please define maybe?

 

Can I FB you?

Facebook my lovelies!

Facebook! Yes the very one that you are dying to have on your phone. The one that you check every minute that you are online.  The one and only facebook, where you have 1,000 friends. But the reality is that they are only 50 and the extra 700are mere acquaintances and people you just met once in your life. The other 250 well lets be honest, you never met them, they are friends of your friends, people who have the same name as you, and people who you either requested, or requested you to be friends in the attempt to gain notoriety.

I think Facebook is going to destroy the dating scene, if it hasn’t already.

Last night while in my cute little outfit, I had someone ask for my email address so that he could friend me on facebook, and later on ask me out for drinks?! My concern is that this is the second time this has happened to me, the first being Italian.  Granted its only happened to me twice. But imagine the women that this happens to all the time! HORROR!  Really if were them I’d have given up on the dating scene.

Now , what happened to asking for the telephone number? Cell number? Digits? The problem I have with someone asking you for your facebook is that it’s like they get to “screen” you before they take you on a date. By this  I mean that they get to stalk you- they look at your pictures, decide whether you look good in your pictures, pick out their favorite pictures of you, judge your personality based on the pictures, decide what clothes they like on you best, see what is going on your wall, decide who your closest friends are, and who are just your usual say whatsup friends. They also get to meet your family- coz you know u’ve said that so and so is your sister somewhere on FB. And if you are one of those I will tell the whole world who I am and where I am at people- then you know they have your life history on the info section. Not to mention those infamous status updates that you make.

After all this , why does the man have to even bother taking you out on a date seeing as he already knows who your friends are? Who you chat with? Who your family is? And the other who’s, what’s, when’s and where’s of your life.

Hmmm I need to think of a response when they ask me for my face book details and I want to say no.

Scene a:
Dude ( coz men that just straight up ask for your FB add instead of ur numbers are dudes) : can I get your email to FB you?

SN: No I don’t have FB . ( after I  slap him on the face)

Scene b:

DUDE:  can I FB you?

SN:  yeah , sure after  I get to know you and we are genuinely friends then yes you can until then, take my number and wait in line.

 

Tickle my pickle

I am in a pickle.

My heart got broken, and while my heart is mended I fear my spirit is not.

I need a tickle.

I’m in a pickle.

This single thing is getting harder than I thought.

I need a tickle.

I’m in a pickle.

My sister may be mad at me, but I was only trying to help the situation, not interfere. I’m sorry.

We need a tickle.

I’m in a pickle.

I’m not sure why

But I need a tickle.

I’m in a pickle, I need a tickle.