Do you guys watch nip/tuck? Or the 90210 beverly hills plastic surgery show? Or reality T.V coz you know those guys are always going to the plastic surgeon.

In the show they always have this poor gal going to the plastic surgeon to have a her boobies or her vajayjay fixed. The doctor gets a feel of her boobies and a look inside the vajayjay, and he gives his recommendations on what should be done and how it should be done. Then somehow the conversation always turns to the gal pal of the chic getting the work done and then its talking about how her boobies are. Or how her thighs are and the surgeon always ends up telling her she will need work asap or in a year or two or somewhere down the road. I’ve always wondered how are these people suckered into being told they need work done. Better yet weren’t they supposed to be taking their friends not working on themselves? But now I understand – when that doctor starts assessing u like a slice of roast meat, your self esteem takes a dive! And ur once perfect boobies are no longer perfect ? why? Well that mammary papilla, commonly referred to as nipple, is no longer large enough and it needs to be made larger so that her live- in- boyfriend ( what Kenyans refer to as come we stay) can suck on it all night .

So I went to a plastic surgeon yesterday. Yes people! Plastic surgeon. And after I declared that my nose is fabulous and doesn’t need work. He was like yes it looks good but let me touch it- and touch it he did and then he calmly said no! Its going to droop when u are older because it has no strut! Because the tip of my nose is soft as I get older it’s going to start sagging basically! This is where I almost chucked the kikuyu in me be nearly yelling “Ka –nake- nawe!” Instead I snapped “whatever”.  And then the doctor told me that I was beautiful and didn’t need any work done. Do you see this people. They damage your ego and then tell you u don’t need work? Who do you listen to? Them or your ego?

Thankfully the appointment was over and we left, with my damaged ego – about possibly having a future droopy nose. Thank goodness it wasn’t a boobie plastic surgeon coz my mammary papillae are just fine thank you!

Being a woman is hard- your boobs sag, your hips decided to widen to the size of a truck, your buttocks enlarge then sag coz you drag ‘em on a seat all  day , your vajayjay takes a hit to and stretches beyond the depths of human understanding, and now SN is gladly proud to announce that yes ladies so will your nose! (the nose applies to the gentlemen too esp them.)

my faith has been restored!

I saw the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on! He was almost perfect…. The hairstyle he was rocking was just beyond- curls, like he had wekad rollers or something I dont know it wasnt the freshest u know…. I was like mmmmm we need to fix that but other than that he was just so gorgeous. He even let me go through his passport! A girl is slick eh… she can get a man revealing everything in his pockets 5 min later. But the thing is this- the guy was 21 !!! argh…. SN doesnt like dating or hooking up with people younger than her so that was just a bust! really do you hve to be 21!! really! But oh my he was fiinnnneeee…..

oh did I mention that he was Italian! I need to go to Italy! I think it was a sign from the heavens that I thought he was so fabulous. and he was nice…. oh and his friend was just as cute… he had this thing on his lip that was rather distracting though but he was just so delish… long straight hair.

Hmmmm I hope I can see them again! but that means hanging out with my Italian- in the hopes that these young italians holla at my italian !! complications I tell complications….

It is official!

I sit here in an almost drunken state and I can say in a sober way that I have lost ALL FAITH IN MEN! ALL!

Incase you didnt notice that was in CAPS !  ALL FAITH IN MEN!

they are just a) uneccessarily dramatic b) beyond immmature c) just plain stupid d) OMG — why go on?

Hmm clearly I am upset at one man! which man? alas onely one person will know! but I am pissed! people PISSED!

I’m just done with men! Done ….

we need a harambee to buy me a vibrator! ……

fuck im pissed shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots= drunkedness!

Have you ever listened to your voice?

Like recorded it and listened to it! Interesting is it not- you should try it. It could make your night, it for sure made mine. Personally I just love the way I sound its honest, fabulous and sultry.

Haha I love the sound of my voice!

Très jolie !

PS: Ladies I recently found out that men can think you are hottest thing that walked into their life but think u have the most annoying voice and just because of that they will opt not to date you!  so make sure it is on point…. I’m just saying!

PEOPLE  Once again it is FACEBOOK!

Ok so I am randomly procrastinating – it is a gift I tell you – and I happen to notice this one girls pictures. And ofcourse her profile is not super private like mine so anyway I can see her pictures.. and look at her pictures I did even though she isnt my friend… And wat did I see…

Her big boobs , her big boobs, and her big boobs. All her pictures are extremely boobalicious. And her boobs are big probably D’s if not G’s you know and damn she needs a bra that fits or friends. Because seriously you cant have ur boobs hanging out like that for all and sundry. I mean its so bad to the point of  how can you have respect for a woman that has the titties all out like that , I’m telling you the only thing you can’t see is her nipples. Yote… and to make it worse there is a picture with a pen in between her boobs in one of the pics, I mean really! Ok maybe it was meant as a joke but some self respect- I mean really. And I’m pretty sure I read that if u have big boobs you shouldn’t have them hanging out ovyo ovyo all the time. Those girls need to be supported. UP and COVERED!. And sad thing is I’m sure she is a nice person but ala … those boobs are popping. Beyond! Guys I know you are thinking ok I want to see this but even after pic 10 you’ll be like uh ok yeah this is too much. Even if you have been blessed by the Lord like that … ai.. it was just too tooo tooo much! Hanging here , there everywhere almost every pic I saw… ala!

I mean nearly every picture her boobs were out, and she has like 400 pictures. And a good 2 sock of them her titties are out having a party. There was one picture where even her top couldn’t hack and was sliding off and you could see the bra. And not to forget that ka habit of Kenyan women, putting the cell phone by the boobs , close to the arm pit but not quite- held in place by the bra of course. (PS I’m pretty sure this is bad for the bra… the bra is meant to support the boobs not the boobs and the cell phone- im digressing)

I almost want to do a harambee and buy her a bra! A bra that fits well and a shirt that covers that stuff up.

Would it be wrong of me to write her a message and be like hey I think u need to cover up that ish? Give her a few tips on how to show off the boobs in a more appropriate manner! Coz I mean I want to … I even feel obligated to do so???Maybe she doesnt have friends who can tell her ” honey get your self together and cover up those things at least sometimes, especially in the day light.. !I can’t just sit by the way side and let the woman just meander along the road like she is lost…